Inauguration Live Blog!

So its 12:42 and we're just getting on our way. I've already polished off a thing of walking nachos. My aunt and I are lounging in my living room. This is the Semantic's officially-inaugurated liveblog. Let's get this thing under way!

12:42: People are being taken to their seats. There's Biden and Cheney, who is in a wheelchair oddly enough. The announcer tells us its from, "when he was moving boxes while moving into his new home." Right. And there's Nancy Pelosi, who is really over with this crowd. She just got a huge ovation.

12:43: "And I am proud to introduce, Barack H. Obama!" It was probably a good call leaving out the Hussein. The man is shaking every hand he can. And he takes his seat... everyone holds their breath!

12:44: Obama! Obama! Obama! First Obama chant of the broadcast.

12:46: I can't be the only person who thinks Michelle Obama is a babe. Right?

12:47: So many references to MLK. Obama should start his speech with, "Four score and seven years ago, my ancestors had a dream!"

12:52: All this christian prayer must be a little weird considering Obama's a muslim and all... I wonder how he feels about it. (...don't hit me)

12:54: Jesus, Aretha! We know you can sing, but what the HELL is on your head?! That thing looks like the entrance to a christmas present casino. Also, would it kill you to skip dessert once in a while?

12:55: ringringringring! let it- let it- let it- let it- let it- let it- let it- let it- riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing! Sing it, Aretha!

12:57: I think we're running slightly behind. Obama is officially the new president in three minutes and Biden is still on stage. Get the man out here!

12:58: Hehehe "faithfully discharge the duties"

1:00: And we officially have a new president. They haven't actually sworn him in or anything yet. Yo-Yo-Ma is doing his thing on the cello. It's a really depressing song, you'd think they'd pick something a little more upbeat. Let's get those marching bands back, or where'd Stevie Wonder go? Wouldn't Stevie Wonder rule right now?

1:03: A stool?!? Hahahaha. I thought he was a good basketball player. How is he so short?

1:05: Holy crap. This is insane. I can't even handle it. I've already got gnarly goosebumps already. Ahhh! Those cannons are making me way too nervous.

1:10: Those are some big promises he just made. Like, holy smokes. Education, health care, and the economy: through the first thirty seconds of his speech and he's already promised to fix all of them. "America, you're all too dumb!" But we will overcome!"

1:12: kbrb, he's talking.

4:00 Okay, so after he finished talking and the benediction finished, I had a nap.

It would have been cool if Wilco or Jay-Z got to play the inauguration. He's admitted to being a fan of both: Wilco used to play fundraisers for him all the time back when he was still Senator Obama, and there were huge rumors that Jay-Z was begging and pleading for that spot. Wouldn't it have been cool if he played "Dirt of Your Shoulder" right before the swearing in? Or what about "99 problems, but my pres ain't one"? Jay-Z is clever like that.

Yo-yo Ma is cool and all (see: safe for white people), but you know that Obama is cooler than he's allowed to be.

But that was pretty fun while it lasted, wasn't it?! No one got shot, his speech ruled, and his new limo is fly as hell. I would write a big, slobbery "omg Obama, I luuurv you" piece, but there's probably way too much of that going around anyways. Ciao!

I dare you to write in my Honesty Box

I spend a lot of time on Facebook. Its an addiction, like crack or heroin. I have a problem. I need my fix, and I'll break promises and friendships to get it. I should probably go to meetings or something. I can figure out who wrote in my Honesty Box by cross referencing the writing style to who I think it is, and then checking the time stamps of the Honesty Box message and the other Facebook activity of my suspects. I probably watch too many detective shows, but that's for a different time and place. The point is, I have a problem.

Like crack and heroin, my addiction is beginning to take a toll on my social life. Don't worry, it isn't because I'm selling myself for friend requests or wall-posts. It's because I'm starting to know people before I even meet them.

I went to Dal last semester**, so, you know, I didn't live here. Every time I looked through my friends' photo albums, there would be new faces that I was completely unfamiliar with. So, being a curious person by nature, I would click on their profile if I could. Who are these new people? Are they good enough for my friends? I would ask someone on MSN who they are, what they're like, where they came from, who has crushes on them, etc. etc. But then I'd start asking myself things like, "Am I being replaced? Is there still room for me when I get home? Will people even remember me?" Shut up, Connor, people love you.

Back to my problem. Once I came home from school, I was confronted with actually having to meet these people. But I already knew them? I knew their names, where they're from, what people find annoying about them. Its like we'd already met. I made the mistake of saying to one of them, "Oh hey, I recognize you from Facebook." That was a bad idea. Saying, "I know you from the internet," to someone is the creepiest thing you can possibly do. It doesn't matter how innocently you meant for it to be. "But you're in all of my friends photo albums!?" Doesn't matter. You can't win. That person is going to look at you like you farted for the rest of the night.

I quickly learned that the best thing to do is play dumb. Act like you've never heard that person's name before. "Hm, you're who? I've never heard of you ever before! You hang out with my friends all the time now?! This is news! Call the Panther Post!" And I can continue to live with my addiction in peace. I think I've met everyone. But its not like I'd actually tell you that. I've never met you before in my life. You're who?


**Say hi to me on campus, please. I'm new and don't know where I'm going. Directions are appreciated.